More affirmation that my health still sucks: I wasn't diligent about taking my medication this week. It was Turkey Day, and I wasn't as cautious as I should have been. 2/3 of the weight I lost during the fast is back, and now I'm as depressed as ever. This blows. I know this is a result of introducing meats back into my diet, and I'm assuming it's going to take time to balance out by not eating wheat products... but in the short term, it still sucks big time. It's apparent that I cannot CANNOT afford slip ups. Ever. And that stinks because fasting is not meant to be a long term lifestyle change. I go back to eating "normal" and apparently any little bit of variance from eating flippin' rabbit food shoots my body back into a damn tailspin. And so much for the possibility of weening myself off drugs. Doesn't look like THAT is going to be a real possibility anytime soon. Guess I'm going to have to be at my actual goal weight before that can even be considered with my doc, and even then, I may be stuck on these dang drugs for the rest of my flippin' life.
I'm so upset right now I can't even think straight. I've made so much progress, and this is such a setback. I do not want to fall off the wagon.... but I'll be honest, there's no other way to describe just how horrified and discouraged I am right now. I know it's only been a week and a half... and it's been turkey day, and introducing meat back into my diet is a huge change. I shouldn't let it upset me as much as it has. I'm trying to think rational here but it's not working. I'm just mad, upset and confused. Glad I have another doc appointment soon. Hopefully she will prescribe a blood glucose monitor for me so I can see the effects of the food I eat as a reinforcement. I need constant reinforcement.... and I guess seeing immediate results of how a particular food product affects me will encourage me to cut that product out of my diet, or severely limit it.
Damn damn damn. What a way to begin the week :(
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